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Yep. It's wedding day!

My eldest son is getting married.

This whole wedding preparation has been exhausting both physically, financially and emotionally. In more ways than one.

I'm pretty much over my amazement that I'm old enough to become a mother in law. *heh* And yeah, before you ask... he is considered on the young side for getting married, but he's almost two years older than his dad was and three years older than I was.

And, fyi, yes, we're still together after our 1985 at-home wedding. ;)

(psst.. our 23rd anniversary is exactly one week after the wedding)

The thing is? Her parents are being pure buttholes!!! (pardon my french! LOL!) Seriously. We're footing the bill for this thing because all her parents can do is complain about all the ways HER wishes and plans are not being followed.

This week? Pretty much every day they have called and caused my soon-to-be daughter to shut her room to cry. Everything from telling her that her younger sisters aren't allowed to come here to help with decorations. 'Why?', she asked. "The same reason." (they wouldn't allow them to spend the night) 'And what IS that reason?', she asked. "Because.. we don't like it that you moved in with your boyfriend."

Okay... (i know this is a looong post, but I need to vent & thought some of you might be interested... i'm trying to be brief, but the sheer weight of all they've done is incredible!)

So... this "moved in with you boyfriend" thing. Firstly? We don't do any "shacking up". I don't mean to offend anyone here, but we believe that it is morally wrong to have se\/ outside of marriage.
/\

I know that's not a popular concept these days, but we are firmly committed to this. As my dh and I were when we dated, my son and soon-to-be-daughter are also committed to purity at marriage. That is whyyyy... when STBD moved here from a small (jobless) town about 45 min away, my son moved out of our house entirely and in with my parents.

So their accusation is completely unfounded. We've known these people for over 10 years & granted, they are not very um.. outgoing, it was just understood that we held that same belief, ya know?

And after being practically giddy when the engagement was announced.. referring to my son (when talking to the younger kids) as "your brother" and talking about how much she would need to cook when they came for dinner (GAH!) -- (STBD is 2nd oldest of 6 kids) now they are hurling these bizarre and false accusations at us and her.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?! They harassed her over everything from thinking she has shown Son her wedding dress, to "acting mad" when her mother called (on her cell which has NO minutes (as explained to them) but is used for 2-way convos to the rest of us) to who was invited on our side and NOT on hers to just guilt-ing her about some crying spell her mother was having--which, yep, she had nothing to do with.

It's been really bad & "the kids" (S & STBD) have gone above & way beyond trying to be civil and inclusive of them, but at this point, STBD doesn't even want them to be at the wedding. She's so torn between keeping her bros & sisters from being casualties of this and cutting off all communication with her mother and father.

They've chosen to just bear all this horrible treatment for the sake of the younger siblings. However, things may have come to a head here ONE DAY BEFORE THE WEDDING?!?!?!??!

Apparently, her mother is under the delusion that this whole wedding is all about her instead of her daughter. And now, she has pretty much destroyed any relationship they might have ever had or could have in the future.

I am just heartbroken that my kids, and I consider her my child already since in the 7 months she's lived with us, her own mother has been such a terror that she, even though she's painfully shy, has gravitate toward me. I loved her as my own because my son loves her. I love her more now because she is so in need of someone who thinks more of her than of themselves.

Since !they! have just refused to work with the kids to plan their wedding that they want, they refuse to do anything at all towards putting the thing on, so we are, at the last minute (after being promised they'd do this, that & the other) we're doing all the work & footing most of the bill.

Growl!

Okay... I thank you for letting me vent a little.

If you come by my blog.. out of curiosity, perhaps.. be sure to register and then let me know if you are interested in more details & I can raise your access rank to view my private posts. (the mom regularly visits, then gripes about everything I write, assuming that it refers to her somehow... so the ones that DO refer to her, I have hid to hopefully save my STBD a little grief.)

Thanks again. I gotta jet & get my butt busy, BUSY, BUSY!!!!!! *sigh*

Posted by kymom on Jul 11, 2008 in Blab | 6 comments