IconBuffet | Free Icons, Stock Icons, Custom Icon Design

zelda013 on Nov 03, 2007

a silly joke :
Q. what goes "ha ha ha BONK" ?
A. a man laughing his head off.
(i know it's stupid but i litterally can't tell it because i laugh so much i can't say the punchline. i guess i'm easily amused).

some lightbulb jokes :
Q: How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Every light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

Q: How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to observe how the lightbulb symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of Cosmic Nothingness.

Q: How many Kuhnian constructionist philosophers of science does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You're still thinking in terms of 'incremental change'--what we really need is paradigm shift...we don't need a bulb with more attributes added on, we need ubiquitous luminescence.

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb ?"
A: Only one, but the lightbulb has to really *want* to change.

geek version :
Q. how many developpers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A. pfff, that's a *hardware* problem.

surrealist version :
Q: how many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: fish.

a dog joke :
An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: "There are only nine words here. You could send another Woof for the same price." "But," the dog replied, "that would make no sense at all."

a lawyer joke :
One day God called to Satan and said with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in Hell?"

Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."God exclaimed, "What? You've got an engineer?
That's a mistake--he should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here."

No way," replied Satan. "I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God threatened, "Send him back up here now or I'll sue!"

Satan laughed and answered, "Yeah, right. And just where are *YOU *going to get a lawyer?"

okay, probably my jokes are old too... they make me laugh though.

zelda013 on Nov 03, 2007

my favorite joke of all :
"what's the difference between a duck ?"

alethiophile on Nov 04, 2007

Here's one:
A dog is walking along the street and sees a sign saying "Help Wanted". He goes into the store and asks the clerk about the job. The clerk says (we are ignoring here the oddity of a dog going about as a human) "Well, you have to be able to write a business letter, program in C, and be bilingual." The dog goes over to the computer and writes a perfect C program, that runs the first time without any bugs. Then, he opens a word processor and writes a flawless formal business letter. The clerk says, okay, can you speak another language? The dog looks at him and says "Meow".

Wycked on Nov 04, 2007

one day this tomatoe family was walking down the street (a daddy tomatoe, a mommy tomatoe, and a baby tomatoe). The further they walked, the more the baby tomatoe fell behind. The daddy tomatoe, in a fit of anger, runs back to the baby tomatoe, and stomps on him, then gruffly replies "Ketchup".

Granf on Nov 04, 2007

Condi rice, George Bush, and Robert Gates are on Air Force One. George Bush remarks, in his bushish way, that he could throw a 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make somebody "down there" very happy. Condi Rice responds by saying that she could throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make 10 people very happy. Finally, Robert Gates, not wanting to be outdone, remarks that he could toss 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people pretty happy. Meanwhile, while they debate as to what is the best way to spend that 1,000 dollars, the pilot simply chuckles to himself and says: "Those fools. Don't they know that i could throw all three of them out the window and make about 300 million people VERY happy."

zelda013 on Nov 05, 2007

@ granf : ha !!! excellent.

Serenity on Nov 05, 2007

@Granf: lol :D good one

Serenity on Nov 05, 2007

check out my blog on answering messages

laulena on Nov 05, 2007

Serenity's blog

anti on Nov 05, 2007

An Australian travel writer touring Canada was checking out of the Vancouver Hilton. As he paid his bill, he said to the manager, "By the way, what's with the Indian chief sitting in the lobby? He's been there ever since I arrived." "Oh, that's Big Chief Forget-Me-Not," said the manager. "The hotel is built on an Indian reservation, and part of the agreement is to allow the chief free use of the premises for the rest of his life. He is known as Big Chief Forget-Me-Not because of his phenomenal memory. He is 92 and can remember the slightest details of his life."

The travel writer took this in, and as he was waiting for his cab decided to put the chief's memory to the test. "G'dye, myte!" said the Aussie, receiving only a slight nod in return. "What did you have for breakfast on your 21st birthday?" "Eggs," was the chief's instant reply, without even looking up. Indeed, the Aussie was impressed.

He went off on his travel writing itinerary, right across to the east coast and back, telling others of Big Chief Forget-Me-Not's great memory. One local noted that 'How' was a more appropriate greeting for an Indian chief than 'G'dye myte.'

On his return to the Vancouver Hilton 6 months later, he was surprised to see Big Chief Forget-Me-Not still sitting in the lobby, fully occupied with whittling away on a stick.

"How," said the Aussie.

"Scrambled," said the chief.

gswd on Nov 05, 2007

@anti - that's a good one.

louiemctool on Nov 05, 2007

methinks Wycked watches Pulp Fiction...

:)

a2 on Nov 05, 2007

A blonde was sitting on the train reading the newspaper.

The headline blared, "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed."

She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to the stranger sitting next to her and asked, "How many is a Brazilian?"

laulena on Nov 06, 2007

@anti: that's good :)

HeatherDreams on Nov 06, 2007

roflmao Thanks for all the great posts, I sure needed a laugh. The day after I posted this, I learned that my father has to have heart surgery, so this is a welcome smile in the middle of a really horrible week. Thanks again! :)

a2 on Nov 06, 2007

You and your family will be in my thoughts. Take care.